The Epistle to the Ephesians
Lesson 11
The Spirit-Filled Family
Ephesians 5:1-6:9

Introduction
Sadly, we are living at a time when godly, biblically oriented homes are exceedingly rare. Nevertheless, thinking people everywhere readily acknowledge that a happy, well-managed home is the backbone of civilization.

It is interesting to note that the apostle Paul does not let that fact escape him. Rather, in this masterful, doctrinal Epistle to the Ephesians, he denotes almost an entire chapter to the problems and responsibilities involved in family relationships.

You will note, of course, that I am calling this lesson “The Spirit-Filled Family.” That is precisely what Paul is emphasizing in this passage. In Ephesians 5:18, he writes, “and be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.” He then proceeds to describe the normal actions of Spirit-filled Christians in general and wives, husbands, children, fathers, servants and masters in particular.

Please understand, there is no way all the complex domestic problems and relationships in today’s society can be discussed or resolved in one comparatively short lesson. However, I believe and I pray that the lesson will prove to be an invaluable blessing to you.

Importance of this Lesson

• This lesson is being written, not simply to help you understand this chapter in Ephesians, but to help you develop and establish a truly happy home.
• The lesson does not describe how things are in today’s modern home and society but how things are supposed to be in a dedicated, mutually submissive, Spirit-controlled marriage and family.

Include this form on your page

The Lesson

I. THE SPIRIT-FILLED WIFE
It should be kept in mind that when Paul writes of being Spirit-filled, he has in mind every member of the family. Wives, husbands, children, fathers, servants, and masters all are to speak to themselves in Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. All are to sing and make melody in their hearts to the Lord. All are to give thanks always for all things and all are to submit themselves one to another in the fear of God.

Therefore, while Paul strongly teaches the need for wives to be submissive to their husbands, it should be kept in mind that submissiveness is a characteristic of every Spirit-filled believer.

The phrase “in the fear of God” (5:21), provides the basis and the reason for mutual submission. If we all held God in such reverential awe that we would not willfully displease Him in any way, we would all gladly submit to His will in every relationship of life.

1. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22).
   1. Evidently, the need for absolute loyalty to one husband was prevalent in Paul’s day. The phrase
      “ your own husband,” is found in Ephesians 5:24, Colossians 3:18, and 1 Peter 3:1, 5. Why? Why is this need for and call to absolute devotion and loyalty to one man? Keep before you that in this passage of scripture, Paul is likening the relationship of husband and wife to Christ and His Church (5:32). So, just as Christ desires His bride to be submissive, loyal and clean (5:27), so wives are here exhorted to be submissive and loyal to their husbands.
2. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything (Ephesians 5:24).
   1. The phrase “in everything” raises a problem. The phrase must be limited to everything that is not contrary to the evident will of God. In no way would or could a holy God require a godly wife to submit to unholy commands by an arrogant, domineering husband.
   2. However the Spirit-filled wife will keep in view the first part of Ephesians 5:24, “Therefore, as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands…” Every Spirit-filled believer is completely submitted to Christ and this is the example the wife is to follow.
3. …and the wife, see that she reverence her husband (Ephesians 5:33).
   The thought here is that it is the responsibility of the Spirit-filled wife to give recognition to and show respect for her husband as the God-ordained head of the family. She should never usurp his authority or disregard God’s directives for a happy Spirit-filled family.
4. Why are wives to be submissive?
   Man’s authority was established in the Garden of Eden.
   1. Satan deceived Eve (Genesis 3:1-6).
   2. Eve gave the forbidden fruit to Adam (Genesis 3:6).
   3. Consequently, God said to Eve, ”In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16).
   4. The woman was deceived, not Adam. “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression” (1 Timothy 2:11-14).
   5. God made the woman to be a help to the man (Genesis 2:18, 1 Corinthians 11:9). The woman was taken out of man, not the man out of the woman (Genesis 2:23). God placed the woman in subjection because she, not Adam, was deceived by Satan and led the way to the fall and ruin of the human race (1 Timothy 2:11-14).
   6. “Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11). In other words, both have need of the other, and as you will see, the man has a great responsibility toward his wife.

II. THE SPIRIT-FILLED HUSBAND
One thing that must be kept in mind is that Paul is not dealing with improper, unscriptural marital relationships that exist in many situations today even among professing Christians, but as God intended them to be. He is stressing the need to be Spirit-filled, Spirit-led, Spirit-controlled wives and husbands. Only then can the ideal marriage be attained.

1. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church… (Ephesians 5:23). What a privilege! What a responsibility!
   1. Just how, and to what extent,is Christ the head of the Church?
      1. Remember that Christ purchased the Church with His own blood (Acts 20:28).
      2. Then God raised Him from the dead, set Him at His own right hand, put all things under His feet and gave Him to be head over all things to the Church, which is His body… (Ephesians 1:20-23).
      3. “And He is the head of the body, the church…that in all things He might have the preeminence” (Colossians 1:18).
   2. The phrase “even as” takes on great significance for just as Christ is head over all things to the Church, the Spirit-filled husband must assume full responsibility and leadership in the marriage relationship.
2. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it (Ephesians 5:25).
   1. Again, the phrase “even as” is of tremendous importance here.
      1. Marriage is not a one way street. Yes, women are to be submissive to their husbands. A husband is to love his wife so tenderly and completely that she, in most normal situations, would gladly yield to her husband’s authority.
      2. Moreover, just how did Christ love the Church? “He gave Himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). He made the complete sacrifice. He shed His blood and laid down His life for it. The Spirit-filled husband should love his wife to such an extent that he would lay down his life for her if need be.
      3. Remember, that in verse 21, Paul said “submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” In 1 Peter 5:5, Peter wrote “…yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility; for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.”
   2. Submission, then, should be a characteristic of a Spirit-filled husband or wife. Each of them must recognize the God-ordained responsibility placed upon them.
3. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies… (Ephesians 5:28).
   1. What an interesting, self-evident thing Paul includes here! Every man cares for his own body tediously, tenderly, and completely. Not a bruise, lump, scratch, wound or irritation goes unattended. Now note: Paul writes, “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church” (Ephesians 5:29).
   2. With the same tenderness and completeness to which the Lord cares for the Church and men care for their own bodies, husbands are to care for their wives. In fact, God recognizes the two of them to be “one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31; Genesis 2:24).
   3. Ephesians 5:33 is an excellent closure for this section on husband-wife relationships. “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

III. SPIRIT-FILLED CHILDREN
You must bear in mind that what we are discussing here is the place and responsibility of children in a Spirit-blessed, Spirit-filled household.

You will note in the text that no age of children is mentioned. Children reared in a God-fearing, God-honoring, Spirit-directed home, often make a profession of faith and come to know the Lord early in life. Children such as Samuel (1 Samuel 2:18, 3:19), Jeremiah (Jeremiah 1:5), and John the Baptist (Luke 1:41-45, 66, 76, 77, 88), knew the Lord from the womb and early began to serve Him.

1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right (Ephesians 6:1).
   In Colossians 3:20, Paul writes, “Children obey your parents in all things; for this is well pleasing to the Lord.”
   1. Again, the fact that submission is a basic characteristic of a Spirit-filled home comes through. We all are to be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility (1 Peter 5:5). Wives are to be in submission to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22) and children are to be submissive to their parents (Ephesians 6:1).
   2. Paul says emphatically, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right (Ephesians 6:1). Obey because it is the right thing to do in the eyes of God. There is only one thing to do about anything and that is the right thing.
   3. Children in a Christian home should be reminded that Christ was once a child and was in complete submission to His parents. “And He went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them…” (Luke 2:51). What a wonderful example for all children in a Christian home!
2. Honor thy father and thy mother; which is the first commandment with promise (Ephesians 6:2).
   1. To honor your father and mother is the 5th of the ten great commandments given by God to Israel (Exodus 20:12). While, as Christians, we are not living “under the law,” the commandments reveal the righteous will of God and are to be obeyed. This should be impressed upon every child in a Christian home.
   2. The 5th commandment is the first commandment that carries a special promise: “that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16).
   3. It is interesting to note that in Romans 1:29-30, the apostle Paul lists “disobedience to parents” as among the vilest and worst of sins. Parents would be wise to remind their children of how God views disobedience.
   4. Disobedience of children is also listed as one of the signs of the last days before His return (2 Timothy 3:2).
3. That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth (Ephesians 6:3).
   Without question, God honors the child who honors his parents. Perhaps nothing brings greater shame and heartache to Christian parents than rebellious and disobedient children.

IV. SPIRIT-FILLED FATHERS
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

1. It is a cruel thing to bring children into this world and then fail to instruct them in the ways and Word of God.
2. One of the greatest privileges and responsibilities parents have is to nurture, train, and instruct their children in the scriptures.
3. While wives must certainly be involved with child training, the greatest burden is laid on the husband.
4. Note the following:
   1. “Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him” (Psalm 103:13).
   2. “as a man chasteneth his son, so the Lord thy God chasteneth thee” (Deuteronomy 8:5).
   3. “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24).
   4. “If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?” (Hebrews 12:7).
   5. Children need teaching and discipline. Note these verses:
      1. “The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Proverbs 29:15).
      2. “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15).
      3. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
   6. When it comes to the training and discipline of children, fathers and mothers need to remember two things:
      1. That the nurturing and admonitions must be “of the Lord.” In other words under the control and direction of the Holy Spirit and done in the name of the Lord, as unto the Lord and for the glory of the Lord. Any discipline should be concluded with assurance of love and with prayer.
      2. The discipline should not be so harsh or hard to provoke the child to wrath or anger
         (Colossians 3:21). Discipline should be Spirit-controlled, loving, firm, and consistent.

V. THE SPIRIT-FILLED SERVANTS AND MASTERS
To close this lesson, I have put these two people together. There is little need for lengthy discussion. In Bible days, it was quite common to have servants who worked in the home or in the fields. The master was most likely the father or head of the household.

What we are looking at here are the others who might possibly be involved in the domestic lives of Spirit-filled Christians.

1. Servants (Ephesians 6:5-8)
   1. You will note immediately that again the emphasis Paul makes is on obedience. “Servants, be obedient to them who are your masters…” (Ephesians 6:5).
      1. Children are to obey their parents, servants are to obey their masters, wives are to submit to their husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham (1 Peter 3:6), and husbands are to be in submission to Christ.
      2. Keep in mind that submission one to another is a mark of a Spirit-filled Christian (Ephesians 5:21).
   2. With fear and trembling” (Ephesians 6:5). The fear here is fear of failure. The fear of not pleasing your master. The fear of not fulfilling your responsibility.
   3. “In singleness of your heart as unto Christ” (Ephesians 6:5). Regardless of the job we hold or our status in life, all that we do should be done “as unto Christ” (Colossians 3:23).
      Illustration: A story has been told about William Carey, the missionary God so mightily used in India. A man asked him in a slurring manner, “What is your business?” Mr. Carey replies “My business is serving the Lord. I make shoes to pay my expenses.”
   4. “Not with eyeservice as men pleasers” (Ephesians 6:6). Paul here has in mind employees who work only when people are watching. Such professing Christian servants must remember that they are primarily servants of Christ and are to do the will of God from the heart.
   • It is good to remember that there is no loss of dignity in being a servant. God does not judge us according to our educational, financial, or social status but how faithfully we fulfill our responsibility in the job He has given us to do.
   5. “Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free” (Ephesians 6:8).
2. Masters (Ephesians 6:9)
   “ And, ye masters, do the same things unto them.” In other words, Christian masters are to treat servants with the same attitude they expect to receive from servants.
   1. In God’s eyes there is “no respect of persons” (Ephesians 6:9). Masters have to give an account to their “Master in heaven.” In other words, there is no favoritism with God. Every one is accountable to fulfill his responsibility as a servant of Christ.
   2. Forbearing threatening: Masters must remember that those Christian servants who work for him are not simply hired hands. They, too, are servants of Christ and responsible to God for their actions. “Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven” (Colossians 4:1).

Examination

This is the end of this lesson. In order to proceed with the examination, you must be preregistered* as a student with Rogma International. If you are ready to proceed with the examination, click one of the buttons below:

This version is recommended if you have a reliable internet connection. The exam must be completed during your open session, otherwise you risk losing any answers that you may have already completed.		If you are unable to complete the exam online, we suggest that you download this Adobe Acrobat PDF version of the exam and write your answers in the body of an e-mail message to your assigned grader.

* Although registration is not required, registered students can earn a Certificate of Accomplishment, Certificate of Achievement, or a Diploma. In addition, registered students are assigned a personal grader who will monitor their ongoing progress. If you would like to register first, click below. A student identification number and access codes will be e-mailed to you within a few business days. Click to register.